this is gemma. she's our dog. you might notice that she's about the cutest damn thing you'll ever see. i'm convinced this is not an accident. you see, gemma is a naughty puppy. probably no naughtier than any other puppy, but she's kind of a pain in the ass. last night, for instance, hank awoke sometime in the dead middle of the night to a "squeak, squeak" noise. you might be thinking, "but puppies don't go 'squeak, squeak'" and you'd be wrong, because puppies who wake up in the middle of the night to chew on shoes do, in fact, squeak. or the shoes do, or something. i guess it shouldn't have been such a big problem, because 1) she only tore out the lining, and i can probably glue-gun that back in and 2) the shoes only cost me $3 (three fucking dollars!) at payless around three or four years ago, so i've definitely gotten my money's worth, but you know what is a big problem? when said puppy is thirsty at 5:30am because of a late-night shoe snack. thanks, gemma, for making me get up last night to let you out and get you some water, and drag you back into bed so you could wake up only an hour and a half later. good thing you're cute, buddy, cuz your manners leave a lot to be desired.
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